I started out this project with watermelon in mind¹ . See, watermelon is Oklahoma’s state vegetable² and grows exceptionally well in our long growing season. The thing is, I hate watermelon. The texture, mealy; the flavor, insipid; and the messiness, a problem, it’s never been among my top five favorite forms of torture. But, try to use it as a cocktail ingredient, I did, and came up short. Rather than muddling it as at least one TotC tasting room did, with somewhat not unpleasant results, I created “watermelon water” by dicing half a watermelon and letting gravity strain it through cheesecloth. The result has a beautiful color without much else to recommend it. Try to make a watermelon-based cousin to the margarita and you get a fairly good use of tequila in a non-offensive way, but nothing that features watermelon as a flavor or makes one take notice. Try using it with citrus vodka instead and you get a watered-down effect that makes one neither fond of watermelon, or vodka³ . So, screw it, I’m moving on to peaches and raspberries, dammit. Watermelons, and the state legislature, can go to hell.
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1. part of the reason for this post’s delay [↩]
2. these are the sorts of things that get us International attention, folks [↩]
3. more on this soon [↩]

Way out west there was this fella, and his drink, I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Keith Waldbauer. His drink goes by the name, “Union“. At least that was the handle its loving creator gave it. Now, “Union” – there’s a name no man would seek out to associate himself with in the South where I come from. But then there was a lot about Keith that don’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that’s why I found the drink so darned interestin’. See, they call his bar “Union” too; but I can’t say I’ve come here to talk about that, exactly. But I’ll allow it as there are some nice folks there, in Seattle. ‘Course I ain’t never been to London, and I ain’t never seen France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what – after drinking the “Union”, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d seen in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me.

Now this here drink I’m about to tell you about came about in the early twenty aughts – just about the time of our conflict with Sad’m and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there’s a drink… I won’t say a classic, ’cause, what’s a classic? Sometimes, there’s a drink. And I’m talkin’ about the Union here – the Union from Seattle. Sometimes, there’s a drink, well, it’s the drink for its time and place. It fits right in there. And that’s the Union. The Union, from Seattle. And even if it’s a fine drink – and the Union is most certainly that. Quite possibly one of the more finest in all of King County, which would place him high in the runnin’ for worldwide. Sometimes there’s a drink, sometimes, there’s a drink. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But… aw, hell. I’ve done introduced it enough.¹² Read More »

1. this is, hopefully obviously–if not, go rent, buy, or download ‘The Big Lebowski’ this instant and see what genius the Coen brothers make of a Raymond Chandler crime story, NOW–a riff on the opening monologue by ‘The Stranger’ at the beginning of the film. A film a deep affinity for which I share with Keith [↩]
2. explaining the heart border is a little tougher, keep reading if you haven’t already [↩]

For my MxMo XIX theme in September of last year I chose ‘Fizz’ generally because I thought it’d be fun and narrowly because I have trouble denying myself any reason to have a drink topped with sparkling wine, champagne, tonic water or club soda. Or hell, any with champagne as a base for that matter. So recently when my glorious wife shoved a stack of papers in my face with a great number of drinks she felt I needed to make for her to try post-haste I had no trouble taking that honey-do on when I saw how many involved the bubbly.

Among the many she found were the winners of last year’s Tales of the Cocktails competition; the Crescent City Blossom, the Starfish Cooler, and the Sparkling Sakepom as well as several from the Food Network and Martha Stewart websites including the Laughter in the Rain¹ , the Killer Mango Champagne Cocktail, the Grand Champagne Cocktail, and the Frizzante Mojito. Now, many of these require more work than I’m immediately willing to put in sight unseen² but several of these I could try with little pre-work and had the right ingredients ready, and willing, to go. We tried the Starfish Cooler, the Crescent City Blossom, and the Frizzante Mojito. Each had their considerable charms, and none fell flat or disappointed. Read More »

1. this is another drink that uses cucumber in its preparation, like the Flying Cucumber, to good effect; bit too sweet for me though [↩]
2. I’m looking at you Killer Mango thingy [↩]

There was a period of about a year and a half where I almost exclusively drank champagne¹ (come to find out this is neither the most financially viable concept nor the best for your reputation: see tagline above). So once I discovered the art and craft of well-made cocktails, making cocktails with champagne seemed a natural marriage. Apparently our forebears agreed seeing as how the Champagne Cocktail is one of the first documented, and certainly one of the longest-living, cocktails. But first, some background on my tastes; I drink champagne on the dry side (anything north of 'Extra Dry' and I jump ship) with my favorite non-special-event-look-we-spent-over-$100-on-this! being Piper-Heidsieck's Brut Cuvee. However, if you use this delight for mixing I will seriously have to come to your house and put the hurt on you. So, for mixing purposes I like to hang in the respectable 'methode Champenoise' $14-$20 range with goodies such as this, this, or this. And, again, I stick with the Brut as I think mixing with anything sweeter than Extra Dry, unless specifically called for as with the Bellini, throws the drink way off. Thus, with my love of the bubbly, and classic cocktails, the wife and I had an evening of fizzy lifting drinks and worked our way through a few champagne-based mixed drinks. The results were lovely. Read More »

1. I'm using the term 'champagne' for sparkling wines as well but I know and appreciate the difference I assure you [↩]